So, as most of you know, Rusty and I have been trying to start a family for
1 year, 11 months, 2 weeks, and 5 days
but whose counting? The last couple of years have been pretty tough and we have had our sturggles, but we are FINALLY getting some help! I just finished my first round of fertility medicine, have had my progesterone (a hormone in your body that is made for two weeks at ovulation and all throughout pregnancy) level tested, and am now waiting on the results. If the level is high or even present and I don't start a period then chances are I am prego. On the flip side, if the level is low or non-existent then chances are I am not prego. So I have my fingers crossed, have wished on a million stars, and said countless prayers.
Of course I really really really want to be pregnant and carry it full term, but what do ya do? There is only so much I can do. My struggle with infertility has taught me to hope, but not get my hopes up (if that makes any sense at all). I know that someday I will have a family, but I get a little impatient for "someday" to just show up already! I have had to really remind myself lately not to jump at every teeny, tiny little maybe sign of pregnancy (especially since I now know what my body feels like in the early stages of pregnancy) and to not allow myself to hope for that until I have some concrete signals from my body. I have allowed myself to let my hopes soar before only to be crusehed by ONE pink line. I can't do that anymore. However, I can be VERY GRATEFUL for what I do have :) I have a WONDERFUL husband, a good, job, I am a homeowner, and a mama to a HILARIOUS and lovable St. Bernard named Dozer. I am a sister, a friend, a daughter, a teacher, and trying to be a better daughter of God. I am so very very blessed!!
So what is the point of this post? I guess just to get my thoughts and feelings straight in my mind and also because I really use my blog as more of a journal (since I'm HORRIBLE about writing in a real one!). I just needed to remind myself that the Lord is in charge and that life really is good, no matter how the blood test comes back or how many times I have to count days, take pills, and be poked in the arm. It is ALL worth it and the Lord will take care of me.
So friends, I ask this favor of you. Please keep Rusty and I in your thoughts and prayers that we may be able to handle whatever may come our way. Whether it is celebration or another try I know that we can get through this because "the Lord is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Thanks friends :)